Kismet

Embraced by my thoughts

I can not escape

Nor wish to as ponders

Wander afar, beyond

Actuality

Reveling in impossibilities

Forcing fate

To a destiny

Unknown

Unsteady and

Uncertain.

The Wind, The Weather, and The Willow Tree

The willow stands proudly against all odds,
It shamelessly lets its branches sway.
The wind.
The wind. It bends it's proud branches.
It's pride isn't shuffled from tussled scuffles.

The rain.
The hail.
The snow.
They bow the willows head, taking his leaves.
They break his perfect sway.
But he still stands tall.

His pride undamaged.
His life forever changed.
My tree is different.
Taller.
Stiff.
Ridged.
My willow is much different, but will he ever be the same?


Not sure what I want to change about the last stanza but something bothers me about it.

(this poem has yet to be named)

We are in a boat,
But I do not feel the water below me.
Nothing.
Just air.
We're in the darkness now
Sometimes I see the outline of your face
The curve of your nose
Or the subtle point of your chin
Every now and then there is a burst of light
In different hues of magenta and blue
That's when I see that we are in a boat
Above the trees
And next to a cloud
Then it goes dark and I'm back to guessing your face
I think your lips are pursed in thought
Feel free to say something, all your secrets and dreams
When you ask, why?
I can only say, why not?

-- I'm a bit unsure about the end (last three lines), so if you have any opinions on that, please let me know.

Workshop Guidelines--Critiquing

1. Read the entire piece through once to get a general impression of the work.
2. After the first reading, write a short paragraph giving your initial impression. Keep your comments constructive.
3. You may want to note your favorite moments; when you felt lost or confused; areas that could be expanded on or eliminated; as well as any errors that you found.

Your comments should point out the strengths as well as the weaknesses of the piece and perhaps offer ways for the writer to improve. Submitting writing for review can be daunting for many writers, so keep the author's feelings in mind as you craft your critique. Harsh criticism will be discouraging, but too much praise may mask legitimate problems. Be honest and tactful with the writer so that she can make the most of your valuable viewpoints and advice.